Women, life, happiness
  • “Why did I have to be the one to get sick?”

    August 26th, 2010Keryl PesceHealthy Living, Life in general

    "This sucks. I'm a good person. I don't deserve this. Why me?"

    Yes, I'm sure it does and I'm sure you are.

    Maybe it's not a question of deserving or not. Maybe "Why me?" isn't the question to be asking. Maybe better questions are "What is this telling me?" and "What's the best possible way I can respond to this?"

    Have you ever seenthe after-affects of a runner who pushed herself too hard? What happens? She throws up.

    Do you know anyone who has suffered a migraine debilitating enough where the one and only option was to lay down and rest? What was happening in the minutes, hours and days right before the migraine came on? I wonder what percent of the time, the person was stressed out, overwhelmed and down right exhausted. Pretty high is my guess.

    Here's another question. The last time you were in bed with a severe cold, what was happening in your life right before? Were you run down and excessively tired?

    What does all of this tell you? It tells me is that illness is our body's way of communicating with us when we're too stupid or too stubborn to pay attention to the more subtle hints that we need to take better care of ourselves. So our body says "Fuck you then, I'll shut you down." And it does.

    Where did modern women come up with the twisted notion that being a good woman means working our asses off and bouncing around like freaking Ricochet Rabbit? We live for the sake of those around us to such an extreme, we deprive ourselves of sleep, rest, exercise and relaxation. Then we wear our stretched-too-thin roles as soccer moms, wives, volunteers, chauffeurs, maids and cooks like some sort of badge of honor. "Look at me. I do it all and don't have time for myself." WTF? You realize that is a choice you are making, right?

    Look, if you've landed here even once before, you know I am all about making people happy. It's one of the biggest reasons we're even here. But get this and get this good, you're not making anyone happy if you are miserable, stressed out or God forbid, sick doing so. Then what good are you to anybody?

    If we're lucky, we get the colds and migraines, but how about the woman who discovers cancer somewhere in her body. Is it possible that too is a communication from our body to our minds to stop what we're doing and do something different? Perhaps not in every instance, but I'm convinced at times, this is the case.

    Make no mistake here. I am in NO way criticizing anyone who has cancer. Quite the contrary. What I'm suggesting is maybe there is a conversation going on, and she hasn't properly tuned in. Is her body asking for less alcohol and no more cigarettes? Or maybe it is rejecting diet soda and fried foods, and suggesting she drink more water and eat more vegetables? 

    A mother has almost a sixth sense when it comes to her infant baby. When her baby is uncomfortable or crying, she doesn't need words to know what the child needs. She's tuned in to something else. Something more instinctual. It's one of the greatest attributes women in particular, are blessed with. Do you think that's an accident? Or do you think there is a reason we have the ability to understand and communicate without words?

    It's time we learn to listen again. It's time we tune in and pay more attention to our bodies. They're smarter than us.

    Slow down and get in touch with your body again. Listen to it. Exercise it. Nurture it. Feed it healthy thoughts and foods. Stop taking on too much. Say no once in a while. Yes, make people you love happy. Absolutely. But find the balance. Take care of yourself too.

    When you feel tired, your body is talking to you. When you're exhausted, it's begging you. When you're sick, it's fed up.

    So what do we do when our body is to the point of being fed up and we get a serious illness? One approach could be to choose to be angry and resent the illness. "I don't deserve this!"

    No, you don't. But remember there is a distinction between what happens and how we choose to respond. They are completely separate. Your response dictates your outcome as much, if not more than what happened to begin with.

    What do you suppose happens to the woman who is unable to find her way past her anger over getting sick? She will create extra tension and blocked up energy in her body. Then what happens? She greatly increases her odds of either prolonging her illness or not recovering at all. Her bitter response takes up precious energy her body needs to heal.

    What we resist, persists. What we fight, strengthens.

    Is anger a normal reaction to an illness? Yes. Anger is a normal reaction to any traumatic event. But there comes a time when we need to choose to transition from being angry to acceptance and . . . curiosity. "What is my body telling me? What positive outcome can come from this? What is the best response I can choose to give my body the best chance of recovering?"

    You don't need me to answer these questions. All you need to do is ask them. You'll get your answers.

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