Women, life, happiness
  • The Secret to Being Popular

    July 11th, 2011Keryl PesceLife in general

    What do the most magnetic and popular people have in common? Is it a sense of humor? Intelligence? Kindness? Looks? Wealth? What do you suppose it is? Maybe you think it’s all of the above.

    Or maybe none of the above. OK, so you can argue that some of these attributes contribute to a person’s popularity, but can any one really make or break a person’s magnetism? You know the kind of person I’m talking about – the kind people are drawn to, interested in, like, want to spend more time with, admire, who make a significant positive impression on you.

    I’ve always thought it was a package, that when a person possessed a few certain characteristics, that is what made them popular. Except when I look at some of the most popular people, they don’t all possess the same traits. Ellen DeGeneres is kind and funny. She is adored by millions of people. She is certainly magnetic. Then you’ve got Lady Gaga. There’s another hugely popular chick. Does she share the same traits as Ellen? Nope. But yet she is loved by millions as well. So what’s the formula?

    I finally figured it out. And it happened during my girls weekend in Naples a few weeks ago.

    After a day by the pool, my girlfriends and I freshened up, dolled up and stepped out for a bite to eat and some dancing. My one girlfriend kept talking about a super cool chick who was a DJ at place on 5th Avenue. We arrived (tans, bangle bracelets and heels in tow), slid into a booth and ordered some food and a round of drinks. Our drinks were soon delivered and we toasted to another great day and time with the girls and took our first sips. No sooner had we set our drinks back down, and she came over to our table. Who is “she”? One of the most magnetic people I have ever met – the chick DJ my friend kept boasting about – DJ Unek.

    She addressed each of us, engaged with us, and pulled every single one of us in to her almost visible field of energy. When she stepped away from the table to spin the tunes we requested, we were all stunned. More than a few “Wow’s!” were shared. “What a great personality! What an impression! She is really cool!” And the funny thing is, that conversation continued hours later on our way home and the next day.

    So what was this girl’s deal? Was she funny? Kind? Intelligent? All of these, but that wasn’t her wow factor. Her wow factor was her complete and utter love of and freedom to be who she is. She is openly gay and even blurs the lines of gender with her appearance. She is tattooed, pierced and spikes her hair. And she left a lasting impression on every last one of us. I used a flyer with her picture for this post because I want you to get a good visual. She is not average. She’s not what you’d call gorgeous or even “normal”. But we loved her.

    And that’s what I want you to take away from this. I don’t care what you are passionate about, what you look like, what you believe, whatever it is, be 100% you. Make no excuses. Make no apologies. Make no compromises. You’ll forever set yourself free of trying to measure up, fit in or be anything different than exactly who you are meant to be. And that’s only half the benefit. The other half is people will be drawn to you for your love of yourself, rather than an image or a trait to which you need to maintain. Screw that. Be you. Love you. Celebrate you!

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