Women, life, happiness
  • “I’m sick and tired of struggling.”

    December 9th, 2010Keryl PesceLife in general

    "It seems like everything is such an effort. Is life ever going to cut me a break?"

    A while back, I posted on one of the biggest behavioral differences between wealthy and not-so-wealthy people. Almost to a person, it comes down to what they spend their time thinking about and talking about. (Click here to read the post: http://happybitchbook.com/pressroom/?p=578)

    Contrary to popular belief, the quality of our lives works from the inside-out, versus the outside-in. We think we're unhappy or stressed out because of our circumstances, and that if we could somehow do the impossible and change that which is outside of our control, we'd be happier. Duh. It's pretty messed up thinking.

    It's why so many of us are unhappy. We've learned the unhealthy, unproductive and idiotic habit of spending our precious brain power focused on everyone and everything around us instead of looking to what WE can do differently. Nine times out of ten, the answer is in our hands, but we fail to see it. Why? Because we're focused on the wrong stuff.

    Remember this: what we focus on expands.

    You focus on food, your waistline expands. You focus on the faults of another, your dislike for them worsens. You focus on what you don't like about your job, and your job will completely suck until you either get fired or no one wants to hire you or be around you because you are a complete bitch.

    News flash: You want to change your results and how you feel? You need to change your focus.

    Quit waiting for something "out there" to change. If your plan is to wait for life to cut you a break, get nice and comfy in your misery, because it's going to be around awhile. You may think that's a little harsh. On the contrary, if you are able to drop the defenses and allow what I'm saying to sink in, this moment could be a turning point which will forever alter your future, because nothing changes until you do. I want you to live a superior life. My intention is to help you do that.

    So, getting back to the post I mentioned earlier, if your life is a struggle, it is in large part (if not 100%) because of how you think.

    Here's where the laundry list of reasons your life blows and it's not your fault begins. Save it. The longer you choose to defend your status as a victim of society, circumstance or other people, the longer you will own it. Stuff happens to all of us. You want better outcomes? You need to change how you think.

    How do you do it? First, try a little self-assessment. In general, there are three types of thinkers. Which of the following categories would you put yourself in?

     - Below-average thinkers focus on survival.

     - Average thinkers focus on maintenance.

     - Above-average thinkers focus on growth and expansion.

    Food for thought, isn't it?

    I'm not here to dispute whether or not your current circumstances are less than desirable. They very well could be. But here's the deal. You've got to alter the way you think and that which you focus on if you want to make a change for the better. If you spend the majority of your precious thinking time feeling sorry for yourself or worried about just getting by, you will perpetuate more of the same. If you want your life to expand, you need to expand your mind and how you think.

    Here are a few tips to get you started:

       1 – Pay attention to your thought patterns. When you catch yourself stirring up the same old worries, think solutions. If you've got something to deal with, then deal with it and move on. Ask "What do I need to do to make this better?" questions instead of the "Why me?" questions.

       2 – Lose the blame. It's useless.

       3 – Feed your mind better food. Shut off the boob tube and pick up a book. E-mail me if you want some suggestions for reading.

       4 – Place yourself around better thinkers. Do that by reading the works of or spending time with successful and happy people.

       5 – Think and talk about ideas that better your life and the lives of those around you.

    Choose your thoughts carefully. You are what you think.

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