Women, life, happiness
  • “I’m not happy with my life, but I don’t have a choice.”

    July 1st, 2010Keryl PesceLife in general

    Allow me to get right to the point. Bull shit.

    I don't think there is another combination of five words I like less than "I don't have a choice." OK, maybe "I like your camel toe." But even that can be borderline acceptable if it's spoken with a smile and direct eye contact. That could be downright impressive if you ask me.

    So why does this phrase make me want to yack like over-cooked lima beans gone cold? We're given 26 letters to play with, and we get to arrange them in any order we choose to create whatever words we want. The order we decide to put them in not only represents what's going on inside of our head, but actually determines what happens around us. Choose your words carefully, for they are the universe's magnets.

    I dislike that phrase so much because every time you speak or even think it, you are committing a verbal felony of the worst sort. How so? Your words are holding you captive. You are imprisoned by your own thoughts. You want to know why you feel trapped? Start paying attention to your choice of words.

    Let me ask you something. Have you gotten comfortable with your limitations? Do you cling to and defend that which you believe is the cause of your unhappiness? Do you argue for all the reasons you are justified in being miserable? Think about it. Undesirable circumstances have become a badge of honor these days. We gather around the water cooler, belly up to the bar and hang at Starbucks wearing our down-and-out luck on our sleeve as if it's the latest fashion trend. It seems as if we're in competition with each other for who's got it worse. What's up with that? 

    Listen up my friend. So long as you argue for your limitations, they will be yours, and they will stick to you like wet toilet paper on the bottom of your peep-toes. Shake your leg as much as you want, but that bugger ain't going anywhere.

    Even now as you are reading this, did you have the tendency to think "Yeah, but . . ."? Be honest with yourself. Your initial reaction will tell you how tightly you are hanging on to the reasons you can't be happier. How are you going to reach for greater things if your fists are clenched around your problems? Loosen the grip.

    Look, life is full of challenges. I don't dispute that. What I dispute is falling prey to the victim mentality. There is no situation or challenge with which you have no choice. You and you alone possess the power to choose how you view and respond to what happens. The lines have become blurred and thrown in the "life's a bitch" pile. Draw the line, clear as day. Make no mistake. There is what happens. Then there is what we choose to do with what happens. They are separate and distinct.

    If there is a part of you considering disagreeing with me by defending your unfortunate situation, I suggest you put aside the next five minutes and 18 seconds and watch this video. You may have seen it already. Screw it. I don't care. Watch it again.

    Why have I chosen this topic this week? I'll tell you why. Our country has a birthday on Sunday and I suggest you celebrate her birthday this year by embracing your power and freedom of choice – over your thoughts and your words. Train your mind to look for options and solutions rather than problems and reasons. Choose to live like a champion, not a victim. For to not live life to it's fullest is a disgrace to every man and woman who sacrificed their lives for our freedom. The way I see it, we owe it to every one of them, including their heart-broken loved ones to live the best life we can.

    And on Sunday, perhaps as you are watching the bursts of color and light explode in the night sky above you, take a moment and reflect on the second sentence inscribed on America's birth certificate. Take note of the order in which it's authors chose to line up their 26 letters:

    "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

    Bet your happy bitch ass I'll be exercising my rights. I suggest you do as well. Let's get dressed in happy and make that the latest fashion trend.

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4 responses to ““I’m not happy with my life, but I don’t have a choice.”” RSS icon

  • Ouch. Right between the eyes, just like needed it. Thank you!!

  • lost wanderer

    really nice post =]

    “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the close door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”

  • When I read this statement it really hit me. I read everything that Keryl wrote and I completely agree. There are definitely times in life when you question “why me” and I think it is healthy for everyone to take a few moments and wallow in the situation; but mere moments only. After that you need to decide what you are going to do to change the circumstances. Years ago, I learned about a concept to help you organize your life, tasks etc, which once organized you free yourself to spend time on that which has meaning and power for yourself. It is what I call the “wall of no control”. Think about this, can you impact, change and essentially control the situation? If yes, take action, set a plan make it happen, if it is something outside of your control, place it on the wall and walk away, do not allow yourself to spend time on something you cannot change. With that one of my favorite quotes is “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”
    by Brian Tracy There is no denying that at times life can be frustrating, cruel even, but in the end you can always control how you view it, react to it and think about it. At the end of the day, ask yourself did I do everything I could today to live my best life, to give myself happiness? There are two answers, yes today I did my best for me, and no today I didn’t do my best but I will do my best tomorrow. Your mind and thoughts are powerful and can lead you to elation or despair, I choose elation it makes everything and everyone in my life more amazing.

  • An excellent write and the if the video does not bring tears to ones eyes, my heart goes out to them.

    I am a rock and roller…ACDC fan.

    Lyric in Rock and Roll Damnation states:

    “Take a chance while you still have a choice”.

    A great philosophy to live by!


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