Women, life, happiness
  • “I’m feeling depressed, like there’s nothing left to live for.”

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    July 9th, 2010Keryl PesceHealthy Living, Life in general

    I realize this title isn't the most uplifting of posts I've had. It was not my intention this week to write about this. However when I logged in the other day and realized that someone, a wife, mother, daughter, teenager, father, I have no idea who, typed these exact words into his or her browser and landed on my blog, posting about it became my most immediate priority.

    Somewhere out there is a precious human life contemplating whether or not he or she has a reason to continue living. I have no way to reach this person directly, other than to post this and hope he or she comes back and reads this. So to my unknown visitor, this is for you. Even if it wasn't you, please read this.

    I want to address this first from a philosophical standpoint and then give you specific actions to take.

    I want you to see life as a gift. Something meant to be held on to, experienced, and treasured. You came into this world for a reason. That is a fact. Know that as sure as the sun will set tonight and rise in the morning, whatever challenge you are facing right now will change. Whether it is for the better or worse is largely up to you, depending on the choice you make this moment as to wether or not you change what you have been doing and the way you have been thinking. How do I know? Has what you've been doing until now been working? No. Now it is time to do something different.

    Focus and pay close attention. Here are very specific action steps I want you to take. They are simple, yet powerful.

    1 – If you feel desperate, seek professional help today. It is in no way a sign of weakness. It is a sign of great strength and courage. I consider myself a very strong, balanced and happy person. During my most challenging time following my divorce, I went for help. If anyone considers me weak for that, they can pucker up and kiss my happy bitch ass. I couldn't care less. However, I doubt there are many who would. Your conversations with a trained professional can be on-going as you act on the rest of these suggestions.

    2 - Become aware of the conversations you are having with yourself inside your head. All of us do it. But what kinds of conversations are you having? "I feel like shit. I have nothing left to live for." When you catch yourself engaging in this type of internal dialogue, STOP! Interrupt your pattern of thinking. You are in complete control to do so. Then immediately shift to "I acknowledge I feel like shit right now. What do I need to do to feel better?" Your answer will come to you.

    3 – This one is really important. I want you to get of your own head and your own problems, however real or troublesome they may be, and look around you. Who can you help today? Is there a child in a hospital whose face would light up if you, a stranger with a caring heart, surprised her with a stuffed animal to hold? Is there a lonely elderly woman in a nursing home who hasn't had a call or a visitor in weeks? Go there and talk with her. Ask her to tell you about her life, what she has experienced and learned. And if she can't remember a damn thing, so what? Hold her hand and sit with her. Right now you feel like there is nothing to live for because you don't have a sense of meaning and purpose. So get out there and find it. Create it. Discover it. I promise you it is out there waiting for you. When we're feeling down, we tend to turn inward, to replay the same tape over and over, searching out, justifying and reinforcing all the reasons we have to prove our life sucks. Don't do it.

    4 – Do anything, even just one small thing today that is different than what you did yesterday. Don't wait to feel better to take different and new action. Act first. The action will evoke new thoughts and feelings. If you spend most of your time on the couch or in bed. Take a five minute walk in the fresh air. Go to the mall and smile at people you pass. Maybe it's just what they are in desperate need of today. What you give to others comes back 10-fold. So if you want more happiness, more interaction, more purpose, that is precisely what you need to give.

    5 - Go buy and read two books. First, "Do One Thing Different" by Bill O'Hanlon. This will help you see how to change your current circumstances without worrying about opening a can of worms from your past. This fantastic book is all about action you can take now and about solutions. It's not an exercise in "Let's see just how much crap we can dig up from the past." And I'm all about that. Also, pick up "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. This will help you understand why you seem to have self-defeating conversations in your head and more insight on what to do about it.

    6 – If you find me again and read this post, please feel free to e-mail me, and I will provide you with whatever personal guidance or assistance I can.

    And now, I turn my conversation to any person reading this. If you have a piece of insight or words of support and encouragement you wish to share with this person, please post a comment. Someone needs us right now. Let's show him or her the kind of caring people who are out there.

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2 responses to ““I’m feeling depressed, like there’s nothing left to live for.”” RSS icon

  • Thank you so much James for offering your insight. I hope anyone who may find it helpful takes the time to read it. Great, great information.

  • Keryl, I know this is where all the Happy Bitches hang out. I also know I a guy. So, give me a break because I do look pretty in pink.
    Here’s the deal: I learned fairly early in life that there is no a living person who knows what the human mind or human body is capable of doing.The human mind has (as of last count) 80 billion thinking brain cells. Let’s think about those brain cells as being money. Now, we have 80 dollars and if we spent 1 million dollars a week it would take over 800 years to spend the money.The point being,we have a lot of brain cells we can put to use. If this person were sitting right in front of me I say: Have you ever seen the movie “Men in Black” yes or no doesn’t matter. In the movie Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith have this pen that flashes a bright white light and it erases people’s memory. Right now you don’t see a way out of the pain you are in and are willing to give up.But what if we pretend just you and me right here and now that we have one of memory erasing pens. We take turns and erase each others memory. And because all those thinking brain cells look for something productive to do with themselves, we are able to create anything in life in just the way we want it. What would create for yourself? First personally. So now we have an image of who we decided to be.Of course we will build all the beliefs and a supportive and motivating internal voice.Then I would suggest you make a image of that person in front of them and then sit inside of that image and try it on for size. Next, I would say: Look if you going to kill yourself anyway way why not spend your last 3 weeks playing this game of being just the you always dreamed of? You step into them first thing every morning and right before going to sleep and at any time during the day you lose contact with the new image of who you are now already becoming more and more everyday. At least you’d have some fun in your last three weeks and who knows you just might find out that you can design life to your liking. Here’s a point to keep in mind, the primary function on your subconscious mind is memory and yours has been taught to remember the wrong shit. So go see someone who can teach you how to get you subconscious to remember things that make you feel good and be happy.


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