Ask Happy Bitch…

Women, life, happiness
  • “I have terrible follow-through, I suck with money and I get pissed off easily.”

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    "I'm not happy with myself, but I don't know what to do about it.  I constantly put stuff off and then feel like crap about it. I have trouble sticking with anything – even focusing. The truth is, it seems without even wanting to, I start arguments. I say stuff that I later wish I hadn't. Bottom line, I feel like a bitch. I don't even like me. What's wrong with me? How do I become a better person?"

    Well, my friend, you just continue »

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  • Five tips to ease the sting of a break-up.

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    October 28th, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Life in general

    If you've ever suffered the life-draining, sucking vortex of a painful breakup, you know how debilitating it can be. It's as if someone turned on a giant vacuum the size of the universe and sucked all the happiness, peace and familiarity out of your life. Do you want to know why it feels that way?

    Turns out that "He's under my skin." and "I can't get him out of my head." are more than just expressions. How so? When we love someone, he actually occupies space inside the emotional center of our brains. He, or more accurately, thoughts of him, physically live in the neurons and synapses (fancy words for pathways) in our brains.

    When someone leaves our life, through death, divorce or breakup, our brain gets confused. It's expecting to  continue »

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  • Do fairytale relationships exist only in the movies?

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    October 21st, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Life in general

    When you consider the barrage of bad news from television and magazines about the percent of marriages that end in divorce, are on the rocks, or simply just suck, it's no wonder the pattern continues to repeat itself. We get what we expect, right?

    Add to that, one of the few thorns in my side that is called "reality TV", further pounding into our heads that a typical relationship involves nagging, fighting, selfishness and downright meanness, it's a wonder any of us actually do have great relationships. We are so programmed to believe relationships are difficult. As a matter of fact, on the occasion that I do share how happy I am in my marriage, how easy it is and that we rarely ever experience what you would consider an argument, guess what? People continue »

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  • “My mother wants to leave my father after nearly 50 years.”

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    October 14th, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Life in general

    "It makes me sad to think about it. They've spent a lifetime together. My father isn't perfect, but I know he will be completely lost without my mother. How can I talk her out of it? How can I help them save their marriage?"

    The end of a marriage. Rarely easy, no matter the circumstances.

    My first piece of advice is to continue »

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  • How do we end teenage bullying?

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    October 6th, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Life in general

    Although this blog is primarily for women, I feel compelled to address the heart-breaking behavior that is causing our children to take their own lives. This is not strictly a female issue. It is a human issue. And I can't stay silent.

    Before I share my thoughts, I must say that if you are a parent and your child is the victim of bullying, please don't take it lightly. Stay close to your child in every way, and if you have even an inkling they feel desperate, please seek out professional support.

    Now, for my two cents.

    To the teens (or people of any age for that matter) who are treated with disrespect, anger, prejudice, bitterness or hatred:

    Get a piece of paper and a magic marker. Write down the following words and tape it somewhere you will see it every day: continue »

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  • “Why are men such pigs?”

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    June 17th, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships

    Oooh!  Somebody's got their pretty little panties in a bunch! 

    Obviously this chick has some sort of evidence or personal experience to prompt this question and the embedded assumption that all men, in fact, are pigs. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess her man cheated on her.

    First, let me say I appreciate all of you who show interest in what I have to say by following this blog and particularly those of you who send me questions. So to my girlfriend who asked this, you need to know that my number one goal with the time, energy, thought and effort I put into this is to give you the best possible feedback and advice I can to lead you toward a happier existence – even if doing so means I need to disagree with you. And it is with love and a genuine desire to help you that I do . . . disagree that is.

    I don't doubt this girl  continue »

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  • “My friend really hurt my feelings.”

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    June 10th, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Life in general

    Let's imagine for a minute that you are having lunch with a girlfriend. It's a gorgeous sunny day, and you landed a great table outside. Your girlfriend is sitting across from you sipping on a glass of wine and wearing a trendy new pair of sunglasses complete with the proverbial rose-colored lenses. She pauses in the midst of the juicy gossip, looks at you and says. "Your face looks awfully pink." 

    Now, if you're like me, and depending on how many glasses of wine you've had or where you are in the process of a sip, taste and swallow, you'd likely laugh just hard enough to shoot a bit of your Chardonnay right out your pretty little nose  – right before you call her a ding bat (OK, maybe dip shit).

    Why? Because you know damn well continue »

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  • “My teenage daughter won’t listen to me.”

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    April 22nd, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Life in general

     

    " Lately, I look in the eyes of my daughter, and it feels as if I'm living with a stranger. I don't know who she is anymore. All I'm trying to do is keep her on a good path – get her to do her homework, do a few chores around the house and stay away from kids who are a bad influence. I'm her mother. That's what I'm supposed to do. But she doesn't see it that way. She fights me tooth and nail on everything. I punish her, and her behavior gets even worse. It's as if it has become her life's mission to make my life miserable. And she's doing a damn good job of it. I didn't raise her to be this lazy and disrespectful. I'm at my wits' end."

    This woman, Kathy, is a normal mother and just wants what's best for her daughter. What mother doesn't? This challenge certainly isn't unique to Kathy. Millions of parents believe in their heart of hearts that they know what's best for their children and will stop at nothing  to keep them on the right path. After all, it's for their own good.

    Or is it? continue »

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  • “Why can’t I lose weight? I would be so happy.”

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    April 14th, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships, Healthy Living
    Well if that ain't the question on the minds of about 98% of adult women, I don't know what is. This is going to be interesting. What I’m about to tell you isn’t what you’re used to hearing.
     
    Let's start with the question "Why can't I lose weight?".  Part of the problem lies within the question itself. You see the language we use is a reflection of the way we think. The question reflects ineffective thinking.
     
    How so? By asking this, you are looking for reasons you've been unable to succeed. Trust me. You will get them. Without realizing it, you’re continue »
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  • “My kids are all grown up and I don’t know who I am anymore.”

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    April 1st, 2010Keryl PesceFamily and Relationships

    “I can feel myself close to slipping into depression. I got so much joy from being a mom, but my kids just don’t need me as much anymore. I know I’ve got to let go, but it’s so hard. I feel like I’m letting go of a part of my life. It’s as if my life as I knew it is over, and that’s really scary for me. I know can’t hold them back, nor do I want to. I can’t stop them from growing up and moving on with their lives, but I don’t know how I’ll ever be happy again. I feel so lost. ”

    Can you feel for her? I sure do. Right now, she sees no alternative to letting go of her life as she knew it.   This is one of many situations in life where we women end up the rope in a classic tug of war and pulling on either end, in completely opposite directions, are logic and emotion. Our left brain sees pretty clearly what we need to do. continue »

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