Women, life, happiness
  • 7 Ways to Avoid Thieves of Confidence and Grow Your Self Esteem

    August 9th, 2011Keryl PesceLife in general, Stress and Guilt


    Who doesn’t love a confident (not cocky!) person? Who doesn’t want to BE a confident person? We all do. As a matter of fact, balanced confidence helps us succeed in all areas of our lives – work, relationships, health, success, the whole kit and caboodle of what we want out of life. So what makes a person self confident? There are those who believe you either are a confident person or you aren’t. You know what I say? Bull. We all have the capacity to become self confident. Did some of us have a better head start than others depending our our childhood? Sure, but confidence isn’t something you have or don’t have as part of your being. It’s something you build and invest in.

    Think of it like your bank account. If you’re loaded, wiping your ass with money and someone rips you off a buck or you lose a few bucks, no big deal, right? You’ve got plenty. On the contrary, if you are down to your last buck and someone steals it, what happens? You lash out. You become desperate. Why? You have nothing to fall back on, no reserves. That’s precisely how your self esteem operates.

    Here are 7 ways to make deposits and avoid withdrawals from your bank of confidence:

    1 – Quit hanging around people who put you down. If they don’t see your worth and what there is to love and praise about you, they don’t deserve your time. If you have no choice (co-worker or maybe relative), recognize that a person who regularly criticizes others is severely lacking in self confidence. They feel like crap about themselves and think putting others down will make them feel better. Don’t let their “stoopit” (as my friend and radio show co-host Jonna Spilbor would say) behavior affect you. It is much more a reflection on them than it is on you.

    2 – Stop putting yourself down. Catch yourself saying or thinking negative things about yourself. And stop doing it! Remember, what you focus on expands. Start keeping score. Give yourself a point for every positive thought or comment you have about yourself. Take one away when you put yourself down. Work on getting into the positive.

    3 – Quit comparing yourself to other people. You aren’t supposed to be like them, nor are they supposed to be like you. Celebrate what is special and unique about you. Don’t hide it.

    4 – Keep a visible list of accomplishments and positive feedback. I keep a folder for each of my email accounts for compliments and positive feedback. When I’m having a bad day (yes, I definitely have them) and I’m questioning myself or my actions, I read them. It always kicks my confidence in a better direction.

    5 – Expand your mind with knowledge and positive thoughts and experiences. A narrow mind is a confidence and success killer. Shut off the freaking reality TV drama garbage and read or watch something that grows your mind, expands your knowledge, wisdom and insight. Read a book – something that you learn and grow from. If you want suggestions for good books, email me your challenges in life and I’ll make a suggestion for you.

    6 – Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Especially if it is slightly outside your comfort zone. Set out to succeed. Don’t sweat it if you don’t. Mistakes aren’t failures. Fear and avoidance of mistakes are.

    7 – Get out of your own head and become curious about and interested in other people. If you fear meeting new people, get over it. Don’t worry about impressing with what you know (no one ever is). Get out there and make it a goal to learn about other people. You’ll never lack confidence in a group setting again.

    Self confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in response to the performance required of it. Use it or lose it. You’ve got to exercise it. I’ve just given you 7 ways to do it.

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1 responses to “7 Ways to Avoid Thieves of Confidence and Grow Your Self Esteem” RSS icon

  • #8 Remember it is a choice to feel good. We must wake up everyday and affirm that our own awesomeness.

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